Ambivalent Zen

Ambivalent Zen is a memoir of spiritual ambition, and of the wisdom, disappointment, and antic harrowing comedy that follow in its wake. Introduced to Zen at the age of fifteen by his father, Lawrence Shainberg becomes a sometime devotee of the vision that promises freedom, challenges ego, and aims desire toward the ultimate state of no desire at all. As basketball addict, Shainberg's first failed impulse is to apply Buddhism to the mind, which defeats him when he steps onto the court. Later, as a novelist and journalist, Shainberg sees his work inspired and blocked by similar inclinations.…