F U, penguin

Attention, all you clumsy pandas, loveable puffins, huggable bunnies, and penguins that elicit oohs and aaahs: The jig is up! We have lived under your furry fists for too long. There is a cute and present danger lurking out there - in the wild, in the zoos, and sometimes even in our very own homes. Spurred on by the Cute Industrial Complex, these cuddly animals have taken over blockbuster films, inspirational posters, and computer desktops everywhere, further weakening the innocent civilians who are beguiled by these fuzzy frauds. But you are stronger than them, aren't you? Those soft bellies…